Early Review: Crossbones

by Luke McCullough · June 5, 2014

As my co-host on the podcast tells me I should give this one a chance. In this day and age of pilots that can happen so long before the show ever gets picked up, first episodes suck, etc., etc. This show has a ton of work ahead of it, even if that is true.

Let’s set the stage for why this show is so disappointing. Crossbones had some pretty high expectations going in. Neil Cross, of Luther fame, was one of the co-creators. The series was loosely based on the Republic of Pirates book, which also influenced the Stars pirate series Black Sails (which is looking like less of a disaster after watching Crossbones). It has Richard Coyle (a.k.a. Jeff for you coupling fans) in a lead role. And it has John Malkovich as Blackbeard himself. Sounds like a slam dunk.

Except in the pilot we get Richard Coyle running around like some sort of early James Bond. We get a subplot about a steampunk compass of some sort. And the most awkward use of blurring to avoid some nudity since USA Network was editing movies for broadcast.

To call it a disappointment would be a bit of an understatement.

In an era of morally ambiguous protagonists, starting with Sopranos, OZ, the Wire, moving through Damages, Mad Men, Vikings, and of course the king of the villain as protagonist Breaking Bad, why would someone think you need to set up a good and an evil the way they do for Coyle and Malkovich? Let them both be pirates, but for different reasons, or pirates who don’t get along. Or whatever, but give them clear motivations and let the tension from the show come from that. I don’t know, after that first episode, who Blackbeard or Tom Lowe (Richard Coyle’s character) are or what they really want. Yes, they want the steampunk compass, but why?

That and the book that the show is loosely based on is a page turner, which for a history book is pretty impressive. There are so many crazy and amazing things that actually happened you could write a half-dozen series based on it. Why create the scenario, especially with the insipid steampunk compass, and not follow the actual facts? Could not say, I am in for one more, maybe two, but it has a lot of ground to cover to get me on board for the rest of the season and not to just re-watch Black Sails.

Luke McCullough

Luke was born in a small town in western OR, and by the time he graduated high school had moved around enough to never feel like his identity was tied to anyone place. After college in PA, he worked a for a big company outside Seattle, WA doing small parts of interesting projects. And now is employed doing interesting things for a smaller company based in NY, NY. He currently lives in Arlington, MA. Reading and writing have been a passion his entire life, though it has only been more recently that writing has been a focus for him.

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