And Wonder Woman Gets You Twelve (at Least)
Because I am an equal opportunity basher, it’s only fair to get in a round of female armor bingo now that Zack Snyder has seen fit to grace ComicCon, and the inter webs, with this shot:
When we scored the new Thor armor a couple of weeks ago, the concept art earned eight female armor bingo squares. Enough for the win.
Wonder Woman, the Amazon princess (you know, the ladies from Greek mythology who used to sacrifice anatomy for the ability to pull a bow) gets you not eight, not nine, not ten, but a minimum of TWELVE (and a max of FOURTEEN depending on how much of a hard-ass you’r win the mood to be) female armor bingo squares. She’d be better protected if she were naked.
Let’s review, shall we? Superman got an updated suit in Man of Steel, one that protected not only his junk, vital organs, limbs, and major arteries, but his neck. Batfleck has also been gifted with a redesign, though Batman’s armor has always been on the decent side, what with him being a rich dude with no actual super powers. Fine. But the hours spent on debating the length of the Bat-ears could have been used to solve the crisis in the Middle East once and for all.
Wonder Woman? She gets a bathing suit. The bathing suit she’s been wearing since her inception in 1941 minus the skirt that may have given her a modicum of protection in the genital/femoral artery regions. You know, back when she was some weird psychologist’s bondage fantasy (no, I’m not kidding). I am not commenting here on Gal Godot or on whether or not she looks the part; that is body shaming and I refuse to judge other women in such a fashion.
No, what I’m judging here is the creative team and the director. So many options. So little creativity. So much ego. So little dignity.
Would it have killed them to give her some neck protection? Perhaps a girding of the loins? Boots one would actually be able to bend one’s knees or even, dare I say it, walk in? Her hair not in her fucking face while there’s ash floating all over the place?
Oh well. At least they redesigned her tiara by inverting the triangle. Instead of giving her a helmet.
Fuck you, Zack Snyder. Fuck. You.
(addendum: that you to Frank who corrected my tally)