Customer Profile: Thor the “Mighty.”
Between you, me, and the inter webs, the only reason Thor can lift that hammer is Daddy’s desire to keep his throne room free of debris. The epic tantrum thrown the last time someone suggested Thor wasn’t worthy… that kingly chair will never be the same and neither will Freya’s shoe collection.
If he didn’t drink so damn much, there might be a little more oomph behind the heft but he’s never been able to decline a challenge and Loki makes sure there’s one every night. Too bad for blondie the family bad boy has some sort of genetic ability to hold his liquor conspicuously missing from massively-pectoraled branch of Yggdrasil.
Do you have any idea how bad mead smells? Or how much worse mead repeats stink up the joint? Sending Odin the cleaning bill isn’t even a little bit satisfying anymore because he up and pays it without any sort of argument that ends in us getting a new beer tap or a reupholstery job on the affected booth(s).
Ban him? Could do, but his friends drink a lot too; that Sif can really put ’em away. Besides, you try telling a god he can’t come in. We learned that lesson with Ba’al millennia ago…
Now that was an epic tantrum. With fire.
(Dear Thor,
This is a joke. Please don’t flood/burn down/otherwise maim my friends, family, or home. Cheers.)
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