Customer Profile: The Rage Bees
image via isciencetimes.com
You think it’s bad when women go to the bathroom in groups? At least they don’t terrify other occupants enough the later use the bushes behind the compost pile thereafter.
The rage bees aren’t really rage-y, at least as far as we can tell. Unless you piss them off. They seem to find bug bombing particularly offensive. That and denying them mead. Or running out of mead. Anything that means they don’t get their mead, really.
We have a whole storeroom of mead.
Because when they do get angry, the go from swarming to swelling to attacking in under three seconds. Those multi-faceted eyes watching you from every angle. If if you try the false bravado thing, they will rat you out to the queen faster than you can scream, “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ONE OF THOSE GIANT ANGRY BEES STUNG ME AND MY ARM IS SWELLING AND I’M FEELING A LITTLE FAINT AND I THINK MY THROAT IS CLOSING –”
You want to perfect resting bitch face, though, these are your gals. It’s Vivien Leigh calibre stuff and they’ll share if you bring them the right sort of nectar.
No, I’m not telling you what kind it is! I need that resting bitch face. Means I don’t know to bust nearly as many heads at closing time. It’s like chlamydia, that face. If everyone has it, it isn’t all that exciting anymore. You want it so bad? Do some damn homework.
Right. Bees. Raging bees. Did I mention they’re huge? Oh, good. I’ll mention it again. They’re huge. Stingers the length of your arm. And no, they don’t die after they sting you. They just get more pissed off.
Of course, if you give them enough mead, they’ll rage for you. Which has its advantages.
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