Prediction: Star Trek Beyond

Shiri: Holy SHIT, was that a CARDASSIAN?

Look, I’ve been a Trek fan all my life (since conception, I’ve been assured by those in the know) and, unlike many of same, I’ve enjoyed the reboot. I preferred the first installment, despite the presence of Khanybatch McKirkIrradiator in the second because I think they blew a lot of opportunities to use both the actor and the character, but whatever. Both films have been cast well (if a bit on the white and male sides for my tastes), the action is great, things blow up, and Star Trek and Into Darkness have recaptured the “spirits of adventure and wanderlust” vibe we lost when TNG ended and DS9 hung in space and didn’t really do much on the “seeking out” front. The new incarnation has also recaptured the spirit of fun TOS, and the best episodes of TNG, injected so masterfully, including the scenery chewing which, in the right hands (Eric Bana and Kyle Urban) is stupid fantastic.

It’s space, people. It’s supposed to be whacky and exciting and unpredictable.

Beyond is going to be better. I feel it in my guts and my bones. Kidding. It’s going to be awesome because Simon effing Pegg, geek extraordinaire and fellow Trekkie (also like myself, a rare dual Wars-Trek fanatic) co-wrote it and, if his fingerprints all over their trailer are any indication, went hog wild with the snark, the absurdity, and the explosions. I’m excited for Beyond. Force Awakens excited? Probably not. Because I don’t think my brain or my adrenal glands can handle that level of anticipation twice in one year, but definitely very excited.

Jon gets Suicide Squad for his birthday, which makes him happy as hell. I get Beyond. Plus Deadpool for “Valentine’s Day.” It’s a damn good year to be a geek.

Luke: Since the beginning of time, or at least my lifetime, there have been two big sci-fi franchises that ruled them all, the two guiding Stars you might say. One was always a movie and defined the movie as an event, Star Wars. And, one started on TV with mixed results as movies, Star Trek.  

These mixed results give rise to the odd rule, that every even Trek movie was good or at least less bad. (Though, I would argue that 1-3 and maybe 4 are the best of the bunch overall and that the Next Generation movies are simply best forgotten.)

For the new movies maybe it is an even rule, having to do with time travel and worm-holes and the such.

Basically, what I am saying is any bunch of made up stuff could predict the quality of the next Star Trek movie as well as I can. And if Episode 1 of the other trilogy taught us nothing more than don’t get excited or worried about a teaser trailer. Half the footage isn’t even in the movie.