Salem, Ep 1 Post-Mortem

No, I’m not going to do episode recaps.  This show, however, which aired for the first time, somewhat… okay, no very humorously and certainly purposefully, on Easter Sunday, is definitely aimed at, well, me, and therefore many of you, so I figured I’d throw something together post-episode 1.

I first heard tell of Salem approximately a week ago.  Possibly a little less.  How I missed earlier hype I’m not sure, but I did, so… whatever, at least I found out before it started.

Now, either I read the description of the show completely incorrectly (which is possible) or someone at wherever I read it (and I honestly can’t remember where that was) has a very, very skewed definition of the word “historical.”  Salem is “historical” in that it is set in an actual place and a particular time period appropriate to the source material from which it is “borrowing”  (and, in fact, the place still exists in a slightly different, more touristy, shlocky but fun form today) and also, someone cribbed some names from a high school history text book (or possibly Wikipedia).  And may possibly have read some Arthur Miller.  More likely skimmed the Wikipedia page about The Crucible (are there such a thing as CliffNotes anymore).  Or seen a bad, bad movie adaptation of a really good play.  And by bad I mean the one with Winona Ryder.

Beyond that?

I’m not sure if they’re going for female empowerment or the complete opposite here.  There’s definitely a well-deserved revenge plot.  Possibly some race and gender politics, though that may be lending meaning where there is none.  People who dislike Puritains.  A lot.  And who doesn’t?  Witches’ sabbats, a circle marked by skulls, a very strange tar pit, visions, hangings, stocks, brandings, and crushings.  Because if you died when they put several hundred pounds of rocks on you, you were innocent (true news).

This show is in no way “historical” as most of us would define the word.  That doesn’t mean, however, that I won’t watch it.  It is straight up horror with some intrigue and crazy ass supernatural shit thrown in and I can dig that.  The acting is just on this side of hammy, which may grate after a while and may maintain, we’ll have to see.  No one is awful.  Yet.  I’m curious to see how far they take the girl power angle and whether Mary decides for straight up free agent bride of the devil, which would be awesome, or if the love of a good man saves her, which would be super lame.  I’m also curious to see what ultimately happens to the frog and exactly how creepy Cotton Mather can get because in this very first of episodes he (redacted) the girl he was supposed to be helping and then put a muzzle on her and marched her through town like a blood hound looking for the “witch.”

There is sex in this show kids, and so far, it’s all been super creepy sex.  Be prepared.  I had no idea you could show Cotton Mather (redacted) with a prostitute on WGN.  I also had no idea that anyone was allowed to do (redacted) with a frog OR (redacted) with a very special broom handle on WGN.  Or that you could (redacted) in a tar pit while some dude wearing a (redacted) watched.  So far, every one is a wiling participant in whatever act it is I’ve redacted, so Salem has that going for it, though I’m a little jumpy about where it could, potentially, go.

I’m hoping Salem isn’t aiming for direct competition with Sleepy Hollow because that would be dumb.  If that is the intent, this show will fail and not even spectacularly.  Because Sleepy Hollow is a level above with the crazy and the headless Death Horseman and the oh my god I can’t believe they fucking did that and Ichabod’s refusal to change clothes and Purgatory and witches and crazy sisters and Clancy Brown beheadings and etc.

I’m on the train for now, but at the first sign of trouble, I’m a jump this fucker and wait until Ichabod, Katrina, Abbie, and the gang are back in the fall.

Did you watch?  Have thoughts?  Let’s hear ’em!