Monday Prediction: Crossbones
First: it’s nice to see John Malkovich not looking like a pile of desiccated sticks hot glued together.
I saw the Crossbones trailer for the first time this past Friday during Hannibal. I thought, “oh, sweet, Blackbeard. Something to watch until Hannibal comes back, whenever that is. I can get on board (bwahahahahahahaha) with that.”
Well, I just watched it again and it appears this show is, in fact, Heart of Darkness set in an exotic locale with lots of gorgeous white-sand beaches. With pirates. It will be very, very hard to go wrong with those elements. I mean, maybe back in the MUST SEE TV days but those days are long gone. Hannibal has proven 2200 is an acceptable place for phenomenal, artistic, cannibalistic programming and bravo to NBC for taking advantage of it; the last thing I need is another Law and Order franchise taking up the commercial breaks I fast forward through anyway.
I anticipate a certain creepy factor because, well, Heart of Darkness + John Malkovich + pirates; a tone that will be very much at odds with the sun drenched art direction. This can only ramp up the “holy fucknuts that scared me” factor because everyone knows the scary stuff comes out in the dark but, just as no one expects the Spanish Inquisition, we aren’t conditioned to expect horror in burnished daylight.
There will certainly be violence as well. I mean, at one point in the trailer, Malkovich is wearing a ring with a spike on it and threatening to pop someone’s eyeball and we get glimpses of pirate torture which, as we all know, is second only to Catholic Church torture. I’m not a fan of violence for the sake of violence, but fantasy violence I can handle provided it’s apropos the storyline. And as I’ve mentioned once or twice, pirates, so…
I’m intrigued by Blackbeard the mystic but, even more so by a certain Mr. Lowe (played by Richard Coyle of “Jeff” fame), a doctor but, “that’s not all I am.” The more I write, the more I’ve come to understand it’s that secondary lead who’s really most important for carrying the story and herding the main character to his/her destiny. Ish. This one appears to have the matter well in hand.
Pirates!
A last (very) positive sign is Neil Cross’ name under the “creator” heading. Said gent being the same man who created Luther. Which, if you didn’t watch, shame on you. If Crossbones is half as good, it will be worth an hour a week. Any dubiousness (dubiosity?) I had was erased when I saw Cross’ name attached and you’ve all heard me bitch and moan about how little good TV there is these days so…
Also: have I mentioned the pirates?
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