Let’s Talk Process: Another Excerpt

I am currently up the weeds in shit creek, so instead of exposition or ranting:

ANOTHER EXCEPT FROM CHAOS!

Unedited.  Unrefined.

I’m sorry.  I am so sorry.

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When the portal closed, Jade squeezed Muninn’s hand once more and walked away, toward the Ratatosk.

Fenrir followed her and she didn’t argue.

Once aboard, the hatch secured, she sank to the deck and sobbed until her guts were hot with agony and her nose ran, until she was doubled over, forehead against the cool metal.

Fenrir lay with his forehead to hers, chin resting on his paws, golden eyes dim and blurred.

He howled with her.

“Oh, my child,” her father said and she sobbed all the harder.  “Were that we were with you.”

“I wish you were here.  I wish you were all here.  I want…”

I am a warrior.  I am a revolutionary.  I am chaos.

I am curled in a ball on the deck of my ship and I want to go home.

“Then come home.”  Her mother’s voice was rich, velvet and dark wine.  “Your brothers and sister are right.  You’ve done enough.”

“I haven’t,” Jade said. “I wish I had but I haven’t.”

“Why, my child?”

“Because… because I promised.  Because it needs to be done.  Because people are suffering, Remy is suffering…”

“It is not for you to bring order to their chaos or chaos to their order.  Perhaps they must make their own way.”

Jade shuddered and pulled her knees to her chin.  Fenrir lay a massive paw over her hand.    “I am bereft.”

“Then come home.  There are plenty here who would benefit from your passion, your determination, your sense of justice.”

“they don’t need me.  They have all of you.”

“And the folk there have their King and their God.”

“Their god is cruel and their king, while a good man is hamstrung.”

“But?” Ordur asked.

“But I am so very weary,” Jade admitted.

“Oh, Jade.  Please, come home.  At least for a little while.”

“I can’t.  No.”  She shook her head, even thought they could not see her, to convince herself or the wolf or, perhaps, the universe.  “No.  I could.  But I won’t.”

“The cycle may be turning.  If it does, you should be here.  To ensure…”

“There is nothing certain for me about the turning cycle, Father.  You’ve said it yourself.”

“And yet, I still want you here.”

“If the signs truly point that way…  but for now, I have things I must do.”

“You’re a pain in the arse.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Flattery will only serve to lessen my wroth minutely,” he said.  “I love you, darling.  We all love you, so much.  Stay in touch.”

“I will, Fàdir.”

“And you as well, my son.”

Fenrir growled.

Jade removed her earpiece, closed her eyes, and slept.