Tuesday Prediction: Where’s Luke?

Everyone else is doing it, so I guess we should too…

Shiri: Luke has gone into seclusion following the events of Return of the Jedi in order to hone his Jedi skills (possibly with the help of Force ghosts or, perhaps, with the assistance of the holocrons we’ve recently heard so much about). His hope is that if he Yodas out, he will be able to avoid Anakin’s mistakes while, at the same time, adapting Jedi thinking to the new order. Staying above the fray of Empire versus Rebellion will allow him to rediscover and maintain the neutrality and balance that were the original intentions of the Jedi order.

My guess is the large structure Han brings the kids to, the one strung with prayer flags, is on Tattooine and is either the new Jedi Temple or a shrine the locals have erected (possibly on the site of Ben Kenobi’s old hermitage in the Dune Sea) to a strange and elusive old wizard who shows up every so often to help them out or, because old habits never really die, take a swing at the Empire when they stomp onto his turf with flame-throwers.

NOT Mark Hamil
Property of Disney/Lucasfilm

As to Kylo Ren and his relationship with the Skywalkers… I’ve heard Rey’s twin, I’ve heard Rey’s cousin, I’ve heard Luke. He isn’t Luke, guys; we’ve already seen him unmasked and he’s being played by Adam Driver. If Han and Leia do have children (and to be honest, we don’t even know for sure they’re still together and, whether they are or not, that they ever had kids) and they sent them away from the war to be raised by someone else well, that’s repeating an awfully stupid mistake some super arrogant, though still beloved Jedi, made fifty-ish years ago in a galaxy far, far away time. Luke’s son? Maybe. I mean, Kanan and Hera are together and no one seems to see a contradiction inherent in both that and his being a Jedi. There’s also a prevalent theory based on some script language that Kylo Ren is in some sort of direct relationship to Vader. Possible but… what if he’s just a Sith Lord (or, as his spiting lightsaber suggests, a partial). What if Dooku had a son? What if Palpatine did? It’s entirely possible that whole “we” is referring to the Sith. Which would imply, of course, there is another Sith Lord running around because there are always two.

And I dont think that’s Luke’s role either, just for the record.

Alternatively, maybe Luke tried to train an apprentice and failed. Or maybe that apprentice was swayed by the other, hypothetical, remaining Sith. Maybe that’s why Luke decided to hide out in the boondocks – because he wasn’t ready and he screwed up and he didn’t want to be tempted to try again until he was absolutely certain he was training the right person and he was going to be able to do it properly.

I’m excited to find out.

It better be good.

Luke McCullough (not Skywalker)’s Prediction:

You think JJ would learn. After the “It is not Kahn. OK, it is Kahn.” game of the last Star Trek movie, why would he go down this path again?

Well, I can see three possibilities:

1. He is fucking with the fans. Luke will be in the movie from the get-go, and the lack of him in the trailers is just to give the Star Wars super-fans something to do while waiting for the movie.
2. In a movie where we have to introduce 2-3 new protagonists (and at least one robot), 2-3 new villains, and re-introduce at least three pretty major characters, there is not enough time for someone who was only ever a second rate actor, at best.
3. There actually is some juicy plot point where Luke is a villain, captured, in hiding, or moping because he trained the next Vader or his child turned out to be the next Vader.

Really, the best would be number 2. The movie already feels more packed full of characters than the last bad comic book film and unless it is clocking in at 6 hours long, there is not enough space for all the characters, unless the old people are just cameos.

Honestly, the big question that really needs to be answered is: Rey, Luke’s daughter or niece?