Let’s Talk Process: The Team Up

I am skittish about group projects.  I have been since I realized I’m one of those people who will always pick up the slack to make sure a thing is done right, often leading to overburdening, night sweats, erratic rage, and consumption of far too much chocolate and/or soft, high-fat cheeses.  Also, I have control issues; it’s not that I always think I’m right and, in fact, my lack of self-confidence usually means I think I’m wrong, but if I’m taking part in something, I want it done properly.  Because I have ridiculously high, perfectionistic standards for myself, and am well aware of their existence, I don’t feel it’s fair to burden other people with my neuroses and end up doing the lion’s share (or the aardvark’s share; sorry, there’s a weird thread going on at my Facebook page right now).

image via
robot6.comicbookresources.com

At the same time, it’s only recently I’ve come to a comfort level with myself that I’m willing to risk annoying or angering other people by speaking up.  I’ve spend the majority of my 36 years willing to do *almost* anything to avoid conflict or having people have nasty thoughts about me.  I still don’t enjoy the sensation, but I’m more confident in my convictions at this moment in my thirty-sixth year and I am more confident in myself as I am.  Not that I’m not a work in progress; I will be until I shuffle off, but I have learned to be okay with me right now in this moment which means I’m more likely to open my yap without a, “well, this is just what I think and you don’t have to agree with me but…” qualifier.  And yet, doubt niggles, as it always does, because I don’t want to end up doing all of the fucking work after someone else storms off in a snit.

Oof.

So.  Here are my rules for co-writing.  Use the ones you like, discard the ones you don’t, add on in the comments if you wish.

image via wikipedia.com

1) Delegate straight off.  You’ll overlap of course.  You’re co-writing.  And of course you can help one another finish off bits and bobs as needed.  Delegating from go, however, allows each person time to plan and execute their functions to their fullest and best capacities.  There is no group project in the world upon which everyone involved does everything.  Even if you’re actually writing together, each of you/all of you have strengths and weaknesses.  Volunteer to take the tasks which play to the former and see who might be able to cover the later with more skill or, at the very least, aplomb (my high school band director always used to tell us: “If you’re going to make a mistake, make a loud one”).

2)  Map out a timeframe.  Like, now:  Yes.  Shit happens.  We all know this and sometimes, we have to be flexible when we’d rather not be or when it sucks to be, or when someone is going to be mad at us if we are because the thing they need isn’t done.  All fair points.  Meeting a deadline is tough even when it’s just you trying to do so.  Factor in the lives of others and you have a shit storm a-brewin’ even if things carry on as “normal.”  Thus do I advise being reasonable about you time frame.  Don’t say you can get something done if you can’t; allow your co-writer the courtesy of moving on to the next candidate or agreeing to open the window a bit more.  Plant the flag a couple of weeks, or even months, past when you expect to be done because something is going to come up for one, or all, of you; something always does.  This is a case wherein planning for the worst case scenario is a good thing and hey, if you finish early, everyone can do a happy dance and be verily impressed.  Better now than on D-Day Eve (“Sorry, General, we’re not going to make that Normandy thing.  Didn’t give the boys enough time to make enough bullets”).  

image via comicsalliance.com

3)  If You Don’t Get Along With/Don’t Respect Someone, Writing With Them is Probably a Bad Idea:  There is going to be conflict when two creative minds create together because no two of them work exactly the same way.  Writing is a very personal experience and we love our babies even when we hate them; there is, however, never a lack of strong feeling about that which we put onto the page.  This makes writing with friends somewhat difficult because inevitably, someone is going to sit on someone else’s baby, either accidentally or on purpose (seriously, do you not look before you flop on my couch?) and there’s going to be screaming and crying and, possibly, fisticuffs.  With a friend or, at the very least, someone you like and/or respect, there’s a foundation to fall back on if things get a little heated.  Without that foundation, the two of you are going to wrestle until you fall into the gaping lava pit of death.  There are times we must do this thing; in those cases, be as professional and polite as you can, finish as quickly as you can, and schedule time for primal scream therapy.

4)  Be Honest.  Always.  Always.  And once more, always.  Writers have a tendency to want to lift their fellow up while having little to no confidence in their own skills which means we tend to caveat the shit out of our opinions.  In this case, the project is your’s as well as your partner’s and you have a right to be as proud of it as she is.  Say what you mean and mean what you say and don’t pretend something is okay with you if it’s not just to avoid conflict.  I’m not saying you should be an asshole.  No one should be an asshole and no one deserves to be on the receiving end of assholery (okay, I can think of a few people, but I’m striving to stay on topic here).  So don’t be an asshole.  But don’t be a shrinking violet either.  You deserve to have your opinion heard; the other person doesn’t have to agree, but the both of you need to be able to have an open dialogue.  If you can’t, you shouldn’t be working together.  I’m not saying you should get all up in her chat grille with the terrifying emoticons of doom.  What you can say is, “Hey, I was wondering a little bit about this thing here and why you did it this way.”  And then tell her why you’re asking.  And then talk about it without anyone getting het up because it ain’t worth it and it ain’t professional or productive.

Both names go one whatever it is this is.  And you should be proud of things stamped with your name.  These are the days of the interwebs.  Pretty much everything you do is a matter of public record and it follows you around for ever and ever amen.  Regret as little as possible.

5)  Addendum to Previous?  Listen to Your Partner: You may agree.  You may disagree.  But you should always listen.  By which I don’t mean pretend to listen and then say, “yeah, yeah, whatever,” and then do what you want or let her do what she wants.  I mean listen.  Hear.  Clarify.  Maybe even bicker a little.  And when you think you’re done, state your position to make sure you’re on the same *giggle snort* page.

Take feedback.  You don’t have to act on it, necessarily, though in a group project, you’re more likely to need to tweak to make things work.  Don’t assume your partner is telling you things just to get her way, however.  I mean, she may be, and if she is, kick her ass to the curb because this is all about give and take not demand and triumph.

That’s how I do it, kids.  How about you?